When we don’t know what we want, we often search in our minds for the solution. Or, we look in our lives for what is missing and decide that we want that. The first is mental; the second comes from lack or emptiness.
Neither path is directly hard-wired to our center of desire! They get us stuck in circles of wanting and struggling and not having. They are more about fixing problems than about connecting to what brings us vibrant gratification.
How do we discover the thread to fulfillment?
We start with what already brings us joy in our lives. As we acknowledge these things, we connect to the thread of pleasure. We feel the possibility of abundance. For example, in careers, we build on the part of our job that we like and then move into better fitting positions. In dating, we savor short-term partners, building our repertoire of relating. And, in relationships, we foster appreciation and play, tapping into expanded pleasure.
The thread of discovering what you want and having it starts with savoring what you have. From a place of joy and abundance, we see ways to add on more. Joy builds on joy. Pleasure builds on pleasure.
Where is the thread of pleasure in your life?